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QUOTES OF THE SEASON
30/08/2008 - "Yours Graham...THATS EASY!!"
(The comminication link between brain and vocal chords fail for A.Siddiqui as he
puts fellow team mate off whilst he attempted a catch)
25/08/2008 - "I didn't know you had to take wickets"
(Even after four years of experience, A.Palanivel fails to understand the concept
of bowling)
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18/08/2008 - "You can F**king have it!!!"
(Pecker humours himself by continuing his assault by impersonating A.Wood's reaction
to his playful chants of ending his captaincy)
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18/08/2008 - "Out!..Out!..Out!"
(Pecker starts a chant in an attempt to force A.Wood out of the team as the
excitement of winning goes spiralling out of control)
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18/08/2008 - "Oh s*it...im really sorry umpire..are you ok?"
(Pecker accidently throws a lump of wood on the umpires head after having an
LBW decision turned down)
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18/08/2008 - "Do you know why so many kids carry knives...its because they are so
fat that the cant run if they get in to trouble so they just stand there and stab
everyone"
(S.Fisher explains his theory on the reason behind the increase in knife crimes)
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26/07/2008 - "Lets text his boss and write "Im not your slave and i quit
you bast**d!""
(A.Siddiqui attempts to abuse M.Woods trust after he leaves him in charge of his
mobile phone while he bats)
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26/07/2008 - "Oh Claz that's f**king shocking, I could keep wicket better than that!..Urrrghh..i'll
never make a good spectator"
(L.Pearson realises that the team are in for a hard time with him joining the
viewing public)
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26/07/2008 - "I wonder if Andy will still be smiling now that hes
out?"........"Dont you f**king dare clap that shit"
(A.Wood answers A.Challengers question and proceeds to smash up the pavillion)
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26/07/2008 - "Sorry Claz, ive just realised that
my backside is right in your face"
(Pecker apologises after noticing his naked bent down position maybe upsetting
A.Challenger)
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26/07/2008 - "Its ok Pecker, its better than your front side"
(A.Challenger points out that he feels quite at home with Pecker's backside
rubbing against his face)
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26/07/2008 - "Dont know if i should keeop my undershirt
on" ..... "You're talking like you'll be out their all innings!!"
(A.Siddiqui correctly points out to J.Crooks that the decision is probably not
that difficult)
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26/07/2008 - "Even Michael Vaughan gets more than me"
(D.Boyd (again) bemoans his poor batting form)
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26/07/2008 - "It's a long way for nowt"
(D.Boyd notes that the Indian Express's run up would be better if he let go of
the ball at the end of it")
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26/07/2008 - "Where's that red kite"
(D.Boyd points out that the prostrate dehydrated form of Siddiqui might make a
nice snack for local bird of prey)
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26/07/2008 - "The Indian Express seems to stop at a few stations
on the way"
(G.Hudson notes that A.Palanivel's run up sometimes contains a stutter or two)
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28/06/2008 -
"You don't hear
that very often"
(D Boyd responds to the Skipper's shout of "Well
run Jamie")
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15/06/2008 - "I make one mistake and they smash me for a boundary"
(A.Palanivel realises the problem atleast 3 times an over)
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14/06/2008 - "I don't know why I cant score runs at this level of cricket, cos its
rubbish"........"Cause you keep missing straight ones"
(R.Winn (under breath) replies to D.Boyd's confusion over why he's unable
to score highly)
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14/06/2008 - "Dont worry Boydy, that six inches off a belter"...."Is that what you
lass says to you!!"
(R.Winn finds an alternative meaning to PJ's motivational compliments)
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14/06/2008 - "Siddiqui, you stupid Tw*t. You have the whole field to score runs
but you have to f**king hit it at me!"
(L.Pearson recovers successfully after from the being hit on the head by the ball)
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14/06/2008 - "Useless Tw*t"
(R.Winn realises that A.Siddiqui's fall has cost his a record)
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14/06/2008 - "How would you know?. You weren't out there long enough"
(Skilled batsman R.Winn scoffs at tailender S.Wood's suggestion that he recognised
Shadwell's Aussie)
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14/06/2008 - "Once I go down like that, there IS no getting up!"
(A.Siddiqui explains to R.Winn, why his cries for him to get up after slipping
fell on deaf ears)
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07/06/2008 - 'Thats £10 per over today"
(R.Winn aims calculates his losses after being taken off after his 3rd over)
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07/06/2008 - "Hi Honey, we are chasing 110 to win. Winnie is sulking
cos I took him off .. xx"
(A Wood sends Jo a halftime text, only to discover to his horror that he's accidentally
sent it to Winnie)
31/05/2008 - "I'd rather us get stuffed than have to listen to you all day!!!"
(Pecker, unimpressed by D.Boyd's earlier comments)
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31/05/2008 - "C'mon Steve..I can't take all the wickets..somebody else have a game
too"
(D.Boyd encourages Pecker to get some wickets)
31/05/2008 - "I still cant believe how your shite bowling gets wickets every week!"
(Malc fails to understand the reason behind R.Winn's success)
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24/05/2008 - "This guy's crap, he cant score off the bat!"
(Mod's fielder targets A.Challenger moments before he launches the opener for
a massive straight six)
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24/05/2008 - "You're only in the first team cos they're always short of players"
(M.Addyman tells A.Siddiqui some home truths)
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17/05/2008 -
"I suppose im expected to stick a broom up my a*se and get a new one!"
(L.Pearson shows his disgust after discovering an empty gas canister)
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17/05/2008 - "Cheating
B*st*rds!, Cheating F*****g B*st*rds!"
(A.Wood eloquently explains how he feels after the dismissal)
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17/05/2008 - "See,
not one of the b*s**rds said 'goodbye to me"
(R.Winn feels unloved as Spofforth players head off in to the night)
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17/05/2008 - "That Winn hasn't
got any wickets yet has he?...No!...Good!, He's a gobshite"
(Spofforth players discuss how much they love Hall's Geordie spinner)
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17/05/2008 - "I dont
know what your moaning about, I heard the nick from in me car"
(Geordie M.Follos fails to judge A.Wood's mood and that the nick may
not have been bat on ball)
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17/05/2008 - "I have decided to
just enjoy it and smile more"
(A.Wood shares his new philosophy 20 minutes prior to nearly demolishing
the changing rooms after being harshly adjudged caught behind)
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10/05/2008 - "Malc,
your target is to last long enough for Lindsey to pad up"
(A Wood realises that defeat is probably inevitable)
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10/05/2008 - "Is
that part of the ground sloping? ....... No! that was was just s**t"
(great preston players discuss the possible reasons
behing a,siddiqui's misfield)
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10/05/2008 - "Just
F**k off and keep walking, im not interested in anything you have to say"
(A.Challenger brushes a.siddiqui aside as he tries to make conversation during the
drinks interval)
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10/05/2008 - "Once he had momentum in his belly, he was never
going to stop till he hit the floor"
(P Wood attempts to explain A.Siddiqui's unfortunate drop to the ground)
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03/05/2008 - "You've got to get here early to see Jamie batting"
(D.Boyd makes the point to Mrs Crookes that her son has been in and out without
troubling the scorers too much)
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03/05/2008 - "Grrr!! Money goes to money!!!"
(Geordie R.Winn moans with envy after being selected to draw the raffle, only to
draw fellow Geordie M.Follos's ticket"
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03/05/2008 - "Claz is a top bloke, really great guy, turns up every week
and gives it 100%. He doesn't back away when batting and has a decent technique,
ive got a lot of time for him...(0.01 second pause)..run!..Run!!..RUNNN!!!!!,
CLAZ YOU THICK T*AT!!!"
(M.Wood soon puts an abrupt end to S.Fisher's passionate compliments towards
A.Challenger as he fails to notice an opposition over throw)
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01/05/2008 - "The lady doctor put a rubber glove on, and said "Lets check if you're
constipated" and rammed a finger up my arse!...now she knows im not constipated."
(S.Wood explains to the captain that his mystery illness will prevent him playing
on Saturday
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26/04/2008 - "Well done the Geordie boys!!"
(S.Fisher
congratulates the teams foreigners (R.Winn and Malc) as they successfully chase
down a flick on the leg side.)
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26/04/2008 - "Good thing you didnt pick phoebe up...u'd have only dropped
her"
(Nessie takes a sharp dig at A.Challenger after his feeble effort at catching
during the game)
26/04/2008 - "Captain!, You need to give me one more week before i can tuck my shirt
in!!"
( A.Siddiqui gurantees the captain that his diet is working and he will soon look
like the sportsman he is.)
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26/04/2008 - "Careful Rast - don't lick the ball,
there could have been a pile of dogsh*t where that came from" ....."There is - it's called Winny"
-(Lindsey warns A Wood against his novel method
of shining the ball
A.Wood points out that he had already spotted it
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22/04/2008 - "I feel i have to complain!, I find myself at no:8 behind such
imbeciles as P.Wood, A.Challenger and even R.Winn!"
(Andy Goddard expresses serious concern over the order in which players are listed
on the website)
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- 19/04/2008 - "I cant believe he pissed off before apologising to me"
(S.Wood distastefully recalls how David Bird ran off to nurse his broken finger
after spilling a tracer bullet off his bowling.)
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- 19/04/2008 - "F**ck**g Boydy always gets the half volleys and i get the ones that
spit"
(M.Wood displays a well known tantrum and once again blames David Boyd's easier
time at the crease (apparently) for his dismissal.
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- 19/04/2008 - "My God, this guy looks good" -
(Umpire is awed by A.Siddiqui's batting technique as he powers a four over mid off)
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- 19/04/2008 - "Did you hear what the umpire said? He said "My God this guy looks
good"...about YOUUU!!!"
(A.Wood shows his disgust at the umpires comments...A.Siddiqui loses his wicket
the very next over)
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- 19/04/2008 - "F**ck**g Rast and Boydy always have catches dropped when they bat.
I never have any luck.
(3 hours and 4 pints later, M.Wood is still disgruntled about his dismissal"
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- 19/04/2008 - "Oh, its Andy Wood. Hes never been given out LBW in his life!"
(Barwick players show signs of desperation as A.Wood survives five LBW appeals.
(All were clearly missing!))
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